My Gadget- The Gidget


This is The Gidget, a product that was sold by Pure Romance. It’s discontinued now, but I absolutely LOVE it! It’s my new favorite vibrator, since my Tango by WeVibe died on me. 😥

It takes one AAA battery and has a TON of different settings and it’s just absolutely fabulous! It’s made of a silicone, I believe (or at least it feels like silicone), and it’s soft to the touch and very smooth and just very very nice. 😉 It fits nicely in your hand, in your palm (it’s about the size of a hand), and that notched tip is incredible.

Pure Romance is a company that makes quality products. I wouldn’t have worked for them if they didn’t. That’s why I’m more than happy to buy from them now that I’m not selling myself anymore. I know they’ve come out with more new stuff since I’ve been out of the business and I’m hoping to look into it to potentially see if they have an affordable new comparable vibe that is even better! 😉

This products gets a definite thumbs up from me, that’s for sure! ❤



The title means “rope harness”.

Just before we moved into our own apartment, my ex-fiance and I did a little rope bondage, as I was feeling a little forlorn that he had shared something so intimate with a girl he hardly knew in Seattle (and the bitch had been naked too, grrrr….., though it hadn’t been sexual in nature, just practice for him with tying knots and such), but he had never done anything regarding rope with me. And I had gone to a lot of trouble of getting into the rope community here in my own city just because he was getting into it in Seattle. So understandably, I was a little upset.

So one day, he decided to try his hand at creating a rope harness around my body using only his memory of what he had learned in Seattle (and from books I had bought from the sex store I worked at and sent him as presents). The following was the result:



It was very intimate, having him wrap the rope around me and tie me up. Extremely erotic. I loved it. And I loved the harness itself. I found, and still find it, beautiful.

And afterwards, we had absolutely AMAZING sex with me still in the harness. He would pull on it to pull me closer, to just move me around and control me, and it was glorious. I definitely reached subspace that day. And the rope was so soft and supplicating against my skin. We used the Japanese Silk Bondage Rope from the Fetish Fantasy Series by the company Pipedream.

He can be an amazing lover when he wants to be, it’s just that with my sex issues and us rarely having sex, the sex between us had become so mundane and honestly kind of boring. There was no spark, no passion, no…love. Or at least it didn’t feel like there was any love… 😦 And it made me very very sad. That probably explains why I was having trouble orgasming during sex with him. But that’s a topic for another day. This post was just to showcase the beauty of my harness.

Even if it makes my heart ache a little.


Menage Without Having a Third Party

So given that I just wrote about anal sex, I thought I would talk about MY experiences with it. Lol. This is actually a product review, by the way.

The product I’m going to be reviewing is the Sportsheets Menage a Trois Double Penetration Harness and Dildo Set.


Now, my ex-fiance is VERY well-endowed, as I might have mentioned before, and there was NO way we were going to use this product as pictured on the box. So we improvised and turned it around, so that the dildo would be the thing penetrating my anus and his beautiful penis would be the thing entering my woman sheath.

Now, that dildo that comes with it is a little big to start off with, so I had bought a set of butt plugs that gradually increased in size to open the anal cavity up so that a penis could enter it without (much) pain. And the beginner plug from that set was a bit smaller than the dildo from the one pictured above, so we started out playing around with that one and getting me used to it. Once we did that, we moved on to the harness. Except, well, that dildo was STILL too big… So we took the dildo out of the Sportsheets New Comers Strap-On & Silicone Dildo Set for Pegging that I had gotten for free from a training session, and used THAT. Lol. And THAT worked PERFECTLY.

My ex-fiance said that harness kinda bothered him in that he just didn’t like the feel of it on him, I guess, and we also didn’t put the cockring pictured above around his balls because there was just NO WAY that was happening without putting him in some MAJOR pain. So it only went around the base of his penis.

I, on the other hand, LOVE THIS PRODUCT. OMG, IT’S AMAZING. There is NOTHING like being stimulated vaginally, clitorally, and anally. It’s like heaven on earth. It’s over powering and consumes you with a pleasure beyond imagination. It’s intense. INTENSE!

We didn’t use it much in later years because he just didn’t seem interested and I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable if he didn’t want to use it, so I just never brought it up or asked about it or asked to use it. Sigh.

But seriously, this is an AMAZING product. I can’t tell you just how many of these I sold to couples once I had one myself. I would sell us out of stock and beg to get more in. It’s just that great. Definitely gets the Mandy stamp of approval!

P.S.- Due to certain events that occurred recently between Eric and I, I will be getting a nice long session of him using this on me in the near future, so this girl is TOTALLY STOKED AND EXCITED!!! *squee*


Written 2014.


The newest toy out by the We-Vibe company is called the Thrill. It’s a toy meant to be used in solo play for women, or used on the woman by her partner. It’s like a new-fangled rabbit, with a clitoral stimulator as well as a g-spot stimulator. It’s like a combination of their Tango bullet and their We-Vibe couple’s toy. It looks a little something like this.


We, meaning all the employees at my store, got one for free, in order to test it out and give our feedback to the company about what we thought of it and what could be improved and what we didn’t like, etc.

I tried mine out the other day and all I have to say is…WOW.

I had my boyfriend use it on me, and it was one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had. He just rocked it back and forth, while it was inside of me, and it was pretty amazing.

When we first got the toy in the store, I was skeptical. I didn’t see how we were going to sell such an expensive item that didn’t even look like it did much or even really worked all that well.

But after trying it out for myself, I’m much more gung-ho about trying to get women to buy this for use with their partners or just by themselves. It’s definitely a must-have for every woman out there. Unlike a rabbit, the clitoral piece is long enough that with the rocking motion, which moves the g-spot part in and out and up and down, the clitoral piece never leaves the clit area and provides constant stimulation, where as with a rabbit, if you thrust in and out with the shaft of the rabbit, you lose the clitoral stimulation from the “rabbit ears”.

Over all I was VERY pleased with my newest toy and look forward to using it more in the future. Oh! And it’s rechargeable! By a magnetic charge. So it’s completely water-proof! 😉


The Thrill gets the Mandy stamp of approval!

And the main reason I post this is because I’m giving one to a friend as a prize for one of my FaceBook parties because she’s just super awesome and I wanted her to come read this and see just HOW awesome it is! 😉

All Fifty Shades

I went and saw the 50 Shades! Musical (a parody) with some coworkers and it was a blast! My store sponsored it. 🙂

I don’t want to give away to many spoilers so as not to ruin the show for anyone who wants to go and see this version of the production while it’s touring, but the guy playing Christian Grey was probably the best part of entire show. He was freaking HILARIOUS! Omg! Haha. And also the girl playing Anna’s best friend/roommate Katharine was hilarious too. As was Jose, her other friend/love interest. The whole cast was pretty freaking amazing and the songs were the funniest shit I’ve heard in a long time.

It was a great parody, but I’m sure most of the jokes flew over my boyfriend’s head as he hadn’t read any of the books, so I’m sure he was a little lost, but he still seemed to enjoy himself.

The musical was raunchy and dirty and very good. I high recommend it to anyone seeking to find her “inner goddess” or just to have a good night out making fun of a bunch of books that really actually kinda suck. Lol. Which they mention in the musical too. 😉 It’s great! Go check it out! See if it’s “cumming” to a city near you!

And don’t forget to check out the contest I’m having! It’s still running! You can find all the info here.

How I Have Sex

I know most of you must be wondering by now how exactly it is that I manage to have sex if sex is so painful for me.

This will be part review of a few products and part informative of a part of my life.

I have to use a lube in order to have sex at all, and our preferred lube of choice is called Uberlube. It’s a silicone based lube that is the highest quality silicone available and is so amazing! It’s silky and slippery and not sticky. It doesn’t stain and you only need a little bit of it. It’s fantastic!

I also need a bullet to stimulate myself clitorially to prepare myself for penetration, and to make sure that my vaginal passage stays open and doesn’t clench down during sex. I also use it as a way to get myself off during sex, as I don’t get off from penetration alone, though it does feel good still and sometimes I feel like I COULD orgasm from it, I just never have.

The bullet I use is called the Tango, made by a company called We-Vibe. It’s a rechargeable expensive bullet, but it’s powerful as all crap and takes 30 minutes to recharge. It too is a freaking life-saver and has made sex so much more easy and bearable and even enjoyable for me.

We also always start with me on top so I can control the depth of penetration and therefore control the amount of pain I experience. Having that control makes the whole thing much less painful and the pain is more bearable knowing I’m the one in charge.

And that’s how this defunct girl has sex. Ta da! 😉

Book Review #1

Love, the verb, is a constant practice of feeling compassion, giving the benefit of the doubt, and remembering to feed our goals and desires, as well as those of the people we love. ~ Wendy Strgar

This is a quote from the book I just finished reading, Love That Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy by Wendy Strgar.

I won a contest and got a ton of the products from the author’s line of intimate care products called Good Clean Love and the book itself, which is signed by the author herself.

I really like that quote as I feel it’s a good definition of love. I was struggling with how to write a post on what I felt love is and what defines it, and then I came across that line in the book, and it really struck me.

The book emphasizes holding compassionate and good thoughts about the ones we love, and also remembering all the reasons we love those people at all times, especially during the difficult and trouble-filled periods and finding reasons to stay in our relationships.

She also talks about how relationships don’t exist to make us happy or to fulfill us or make us content of any of that, but that they are vessels in teaching us how to love and to show us our capacity to love. Love always shapes us int who we want to be and shows us the better person we can become because of it.

I also agree with something in the book that love is sometimes about putting the other person’s needs before your own, and that you have to accept that the person you’re with isn’t perfect and that the love you have won’t always what you expect it or even want it to be, but that you have to learn to MAKE it into what you want and need through the “ecology of love”.

The “ecology of love” as she calls it is broken up into four catergories: earth/ground, air, water, and fire. The ground of love is our thoughts and thought processes. The air is communication and our ability to communicate. The water is in how we show up for each other in each others’ lives and the “ebb and flow” of “togetherness”. And the fire is physical intimacy.

The book is broken up into chapters deal with each of the elements of the ecology/environment of love and includes stories of couples that relate to whatever topic her short essays, which comprise the book, deal with.

She also includes chapters on sex toys, lubricants, sex books, orgasms, and pheremones.

Another quote I really identified with from her book was: “We all see things as we are, rather than as they are.”

I really can see this in the group of people I hang out with, both coworkers and friends and family (though my coworkers are also both friends and like family to me too).

It’s obvious that people put their own spins on stories I tell or events I relate when they give me their opinion or advice or thoughts on whatever it is I happen to be talking about. They speak from their own experiences and their own personalities as opposed to what the actual situation is. I don’t judge them or get upset with them for it though, I merely just accept it as how they are and as something to observe and learn from.

Here’s another quotation from the text that I think applies to the ultimate goal of this blog, for me: “Feeling sexy is not something that someone gives us; it is a gift we give ourselves, and the responsibility for it is our own.”

That is something I’m trying to do, through this blog and through therapy and through my own readings and research. She just puts it so eloquently. I know that it’s not my boyfriend’s place to heal my broken sexuality, it’s mine, and that’s what I’m seeking to do.

More from the book: “Still, I want to acknowledge that even after opening to touch, getting on the road to sexual passion requires a mental leap. There is no other place in life that generates the kind of abandon and wildness that our sexuality does. It requires a letting go of the rational and, to a certain extent, our perceived ability to control outcomes”

Another gem: ” Emotions are not actually thoughts running around your brain, although this is how we often describe them; they are actually visceral experiences that live in one’s body, as true as chills on a windy night or burning skin under a summer sun.”

Another that struck me: “A physical conversation requires a willingness to be vulnerable enough to be touched, to allow your body to truly feel someone with you.”

I think I have a problem in being vulnerable enough to allow myself to be truly open when it comes to sex and sexuality. I feel obligated to be sexual, instead of truly wanting it, and I think this stems from my molestation. I’m afraid of allowing myself to be open and vulnerable because I’m afraid of being hurt and devastated again and completely ripped apart, which is a huge fear I have when it comes to my boyfriend. I’m afraid he’s going to break me by leaving me or severely hurting me emotionally.

“Finding comfort with our sexual selves is one of the most genuine, intimate and life-affirming ways we can know ourselves.”

She also talks a little about BDSM and being willing to experience pleasure as well as pain in the process of loving other people. She talks about masturbation and the stigmas that surround it, as well as the benefits of self-love in the physical sense. She even encourages tantric sex.

I found this book very informative, but I also thought a lot of it was common sense for anyone who knows anything about psychology or relationships or sexuality. I still liked her short essays and the quotes she chose to use and the books she referenced.

I give this book a 4 out of five.



Turn Me ON

ON is a company whose product we carry in the store. Their “claim to fame” was their awesomesauce clitoral stimulant which is made up of all natural oils and creates intense sensations.

My mom personally LOVES the stuff and it was designed with women going through menopause in mind, so it’s made to be powerful. I have actually never used it yet, as I had a terrible experience with a similar product from a different company, but I DO have samples of the ON clit stim that I plan on using soon, of which I will post a review, of course. 😉

But it’s ON’s newest product that I really came here to talk about. It’s a libido enhancing cream made specifically for women, and I purchased a bottle when we got it in to test it out for myself. I wanted to see if it could rev up my diminished sex drive.

I’ve been using it for over a month now, applying one pump of cream to my tummy area once a day (except for three days when I either didn’t have it with me or just plain forgot to put it on). And I have to say…I’m rather impressed.

It’s given me back the desire to want to have sex, though I don’t get “super horny” or anything like that. I don’t feel the overwhelming urge to have an orgasm, which is what a lot of people expect out of products like this. It just makes me ready and willing to share in sex with my partner.

And the sex has been GOOD.

Not to be TMI, or anything, but I’m wetter and more into it and it’s less painful and more enjoyable. Overall, it’s all around GREAT!

I hope to continue to see more improvements as I continue to use the product, but so far it’s been excellent, in that my medications for my myriad of illnesses, of which there are plenty, have stripped me of my desire and now I can finally feel it coming back to life.

I would highly recommend this product to any woman who is struggling with loss of desire and low libido, as it’s done wonders for me.

I sold a bottle to a young woman recently after telling her about my experiences with the product and sharing a little of my sexual dysfunction story, and I’m hoping she comes back to tell me she had just as great of a reaction, if not even better, as I did.

I give this product a five out of a five rating. It’s fabulous and fantastic.

Rock ON!